THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS

Everyone has some comment about the seven deadly sins. I recently brought it up and was told that one man had tried both fornication and adultery and couldn’t tell the difference. I have news for that man. Neither of those behaviors are on the list of seven deadly sins. The list goes like this: Pride, Envy, Wrath, Gluttony, Sloth, Lust, and Greed. Just a quick glance at the list tells me I am guilty of all seven. Allow me to elaborate on my status in each sin. 

Pride.  I don’t worry too much about pride, but I do know it “goeth before a fall.” I’ve had some hard falls, so I must have excessive pride. Like every normal grandparent, I have pride in my grandchildren. If all of us proud grandparents are sinning, it is because Mother Nature arranged it that way, so it is her fault.

Envy.  I am envious of people who can sing. Why do they get that pleasure and I don’t? Envy, according to Proverbs: Chapter 14, Verse 30, is “a rottenness in the bones.” Maybe that’s what wrong with my knee joints, wrists, and ankles, just wishing I could carry a tune, like some people I know.

Wrath.  What stirs up my anger? Political stupidity, legal injustice, child abuse, hypocritical religious preachers asking for money on TV, and viewers who send money to those phony preachers. My wrath level is alive and well, barely hidden beneath the surface.

Gluttony.  My gluttony is not so much about food, but martinis. Oh, how I love martinis! Just holding that chilled, fragile, stemmed glass is a pleasure. I have been guilty of gluttony on numerous occasions when I overindulged and had way too much fun. I remember those days fondly, and don’t regret a drop of the sinful liquid.

Sloth.  Solomon said in Proverbs, “Go to the ant, you sluggard. See her ways and be wise”. Translated, I can hear Solomon saying to me, “Put down your iPad, Pattie. Get up from the sofa, get dressed, make your bed, walk laps!” Solomon’s voice presses on, insistent in my ear, “Write a story about sloth, Pattie. Writers are advised to write about what they know, and you know sloth.

Lust.  Ah lust. My mind goes immediately to Cal Ripken, former baseball player for the Baltimore Orioles. Never mind that I hardly knew what a third baseman or short stop was. It was enough for me to drown repeatedly in those blue Ripken eyes. Cal had no idea I existed or that I was his for the taking. I have lived long and lusted often and don’t even feel guilty. It’s another thing Mother Nature has programmed into us. Again, it is all her fault.

Greed.  Does money management count? I used to work seriously at investing in stocks and bonds, always striving for more financial gain. I don’t see that as a sin. Like the ant, I was being a hard worker, and never crossed the line between good investment decisions and greed. However, I do confess to liking my creature comforts too much.

As balance against sinfulness, there is also a list of the seven heavenly virtues:  Chastity, Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Prudence, Justice, and Humility. I do not seek out people with those traits. I would not only be bored by their purity, I would judge them to be hypocrites, or liars. I will continue to hang out with, and laugh with, my fellow sinners. By biblical standards, I believe all humans are sinners. Not evil, but sinners. Being human, we sin.

Fortunately, Christianity teaches forgiveness. So, even though I am guilty of all seven deadly sins, and probably many more, the Bible says all these sins are forgivable. My plan is to enjoy all my sins at least another three months until age ninety. Maybe at age ninety-eight or ninety-nine, I will seek forgiveness at the last minute – and then die laughing.